Do Look Up!

the charm and humor of old skyscrapers

I didn't take too many pictures when I was in New York, except when visiting 285 Madison Avenue. It's not on anyone's tours. Most people don't consider the building, constructed in 1926, to be particularly notable from an architectural standpoint. It does have its points, though.

Zander's studio was located at 285 Madison Avenue in 1978  and I remember seeing a guy with the toothache on one of the Renaissance arches as I walked toward the building. He wasn't difficult to miss...he was at eye level, and right by the main entrance. 

I thought, how odd...

Then I looked up.

And saw an airplane with a female pilot, possibly Amelia Earhart, standing next to it. At the top of the arch was the architecht, with scattered blueprints, frantically trying to finish the building.

There were over 100 more of these carvings, each  about one foot high, set into cartouches on Madison Avenue and 41st street sides of the building. Most were kinda sorta Renaissancy, but some of them were distinctly of 20th century New York.

I thought they were cast concrete.

These were not cast. They were individually carved in the stone.

Sadly, on my trip last week I discovered that some renovator had covered the stone with heavy grey paint, leaving many details no longer visible. Some, such as the airplane and architecht, were hidden behind scaffolding—every building in that area appears to be going through some sort of renovation.

All the carvings showed signs of severe deterioration that may be due to the paint, or pollution. Stone does not do well in polluted air. I have been told that paint rots the stone even more, so some of the figures will fade to mere lumps very soon.

They deserve to be celebrated, even the stereotypical Jewish tailor, a sculpture that has actually benefited from the paint and lost his sinister expression still visible in 2001. He now just appears to be hard at work threading an invisible needle.

The photos that show original stone work are are from 2001, taken by journalist/blogger James Lileks (creator of the very funny INSTITUTE OF OFFICIAL CHEER, one of the oldest sites on the Web, and one that is well worth visiting for its Gallery of Regrettable Food and Interior Desecrators sections.) His photo essay on 285 Madison Avenue can be found here: https://www.lileks.com/NYC/grot/index.html

Lileks somehow missed the toothache guy, the airplane, and architecht. He also missed the big joke on the 41st Street side of the building. Wait for it.

So, here are a few of Lileks’ 2001 photos:  A newsboy, counting out your change while about to blow a bubble of gum;

A 'blind' man, lifting his glasses to gaze with horror at what someone just gave him... (the lettering had disappeared by 2023)

A little girl with a broken doll, obviously at eye level although I did not see her in 2023;

and a man holding stonecarving tools who may very well have carved his self portrait on the building. Only the hammer was visible in 2023; the chisel was gone.

The 41st street side of the building has a number of 20th century figures, some decidedly not as respectable as the gods, musicians, and allegorical figures that appear on the Madison Avenue side. The little girl is here somewhere, as is this kid with a slingshot. It certainly looks like a slingshot though I’m open to other theories. You can see how sloppily the paint was applied; it is very thick.

There are several sports players on the 41st Street side, including two tennis stars. The man is almost certainly William “Bill” Tilden, a big star of the era. He still has his racquet, although the details are blurred.

The woman is almost certainly Helen Wills, the top American female tennis star, who was known as “Little Miss Poker Face” and was also painted by Diego Rivera. She lost her tennis racquet a very long time ago. She also lost a famous match, after a great fight, to French tennis star Suzanne Lenglen “The Goddess” in 1926.

Rivera’s portrait of her is a good deal more flattering.

One sculpture appears to be a cartoon character, although it might be a caricature of Danish actor Karl Dane, a popular comedian of the time who appeared in the hit 1926 film THE BIG PARADE. If this is true, then it shows how rapidly these sculptures were created. Nearly all the identifiable characters made some sort of news in 1926.

cigarette card with Karl Dane in costume from “THE BIG PARADE”

in 1926, 41st Street was a promenade for high class hookers who waited there for the after theatre crowd. One is still there, asking you to come up and see her sometime. About 14 feet up.

The last one was high up and almost unnoticeable under the scaffolding. He’s a baseball player, with a gob of chewing tobacco in one cheek. He's just thrown a pitch (southpaw) and...he has rather odd ears that are nearly the size of his head.

This building was constructed in 1926, far too early for this to be Walt Disney’s “Dopey” character from SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS.

I thought about it for a while. Then I ‘got’ it.

I may be the first person in nearly 100 years to get the stonecarver's joke.

Little Pitchers Have Big Ears.

I love old New York skyscrapers. Even an ‘unremarkable’ building like 285 Madison is full of riches, soon to be lost. Take a peek the next time you visit.